The Beginning of the End

This is my last week working as a therapist at CMA. It feels weird--I knew it was coming months ago, and yet, I'm somehow shocked that it's finally here. There's been a lot of mixed emotions, and I suppose this post is an attempt to get them all out on paper somewhere. There's a part of me that is really excited for my next adventure, and part of me that is completely at a loss for the ending of this one.

Lindsay and I 

This past weekend I went to Las Terrenas in the Samana peninsula. It was gorgeous. It also gave me time to reflect and fully realize what I'm leaving. There has been so much good in my time here--students graduating, learning more about God and their relationships with others, building my own relationships. I am sad to leave all of this--especially my friends. They have been amazing and have really helped me get through some dark times.

The thing that has really gotten me thinking recently--the things I wish I could do over. Yes, I have great friends--I wish I had loved them more deeply. Yes, I've seen some amazing changes in our students--I wish I would have appreciated those moments more in the midst of the not-so-fantastic moments. I live on a beautiful island--I wish I would have been more willing to explore and not just stick with what is comfortable.

Through my polarized lenses

My bank account has less in it than when I moved here, and if I'm being honest, sometimes that makes me sad. Those are the moments when I fall into the trap of thinking that financial gain is the definition of success. When I think back on how that money was spent--going out to eat with friends, exploring new places, buying experiences and being there to help others, I don't regret it one bit, when I actually stop to think about it.

I was talking with a coworker and they said that in all of their time here, one thing they got consistently was that working at CMA stretched people to grow in ways they never have been. That was definitely true of me, and I can only say that I wish I would have handled those times with more maturity and grace than I actually did. It is almost impossible to put that kind of experience into words. What I can do is aim to take that growth with me into the next adventure.

Playa Las Ballenas

There are all sorts of memes/captions/sayings/etc talking about learning to embrace life and live it fully. I guess I never fully grasped them until now. Live your life with joy--go on that lunch date, hug your friends and family, do the ridiculous things that make memories (responsibly, of course). Live your life with gratitude--gratitude for the moments that bring beauty, life, and connectedness on a daily basis.

Thank you to all who have been with me on this journey--to those here at CMA and to those back in the States. To those that have prayed for me, supported me financially, and asked me how I was doing--thank you. I couldn't have made it to this point without you.

From the lookout heading onto the Samana Peninsula