Strong Mindset

So, I started this blog a long time ago, but never really got into the whole blogging scene. Time changes all things... Including my desire to blog. If you stalk follow me on Facebook, you may have figured out I have joined a CrossFit gym. If you pay attention to my posts, you may have even figured out that I have turned to a Paleo diet (the definition of "diet" here means a way of eating NOT a temporary restriction in what I eat in order to lose weight). I started eating Paleo mostly because my CrossFit box is engaging in a Paleo Challenge (If you want to know what Paleo means, google it or by all means comment below or message me on Facebook). What I DID NOT expect from going Paleo and CrossFit-ing was to find applications in my walk with Christ. 

Allow me to back up just a little...

In January I started running. I ran because I had hit an all-time high in my weight. I ran because I had inadvertently nominated myself my company's team captain for the Color Me Rad Color Run in August. My thought process was, "By golly, if I'm going to do this then I'm going to run the whole thing... and I want to do it in 30 minutes!" Since then I have become mildly obsessed with the idea of running in the Bible.

After looking up the original Hebrew words for "run" (which there are so many it's ridiculous!) and reading some of those verses, I came across a verse for CrossFit which I will probably cover in a series of posts next week. If you look up 1 Corinthians 9:27, you will find the phrase "Beat my body" or in some translations, "strike a blow to my body," "discipline my body," or "subdue my body." Now Paul (the guy who wrote Corinthians) isn't talking about literally beating his body; but this phrase stuck out to me because anyone who CrossFits--I think--will agree with me that some WODs (Workout Of the Day) definitely feel like you are beating your body. Sometimes you just completely break down--physically and emotionally. 

And this was the case in my WOD yesterday...

The WOD didn't seem too horrible. 

• 100 double unders or 300 single unders (Jump Rope... either 100 hundred times with the rope passing under your feet twice per jump, or 300 with the rope passing once per jump. I chose the 300)
• 50 Hand Stand Push UPs (I can barely get my handstand and cannot do a pushup... so I put my knees on a box and hands on the floor and did them that way)
• 40 Toes to Bar (grab the pull up bar, and touch your toes to the bar 40 times... or lay on the ground and hold the rig and touch your toes to the bar 40 times... guess which one I did)
• 30 Shoulder to Overhead (Have a barbell with weight and however you can get it over your head with your elbows locked, do it.... 30 times)
• 90 ft Front Rack Lunge (Take the same barbell you shoved over your head, and make a rack with your arms *you should probably google this to get an adequate picture* then do lunges and lunge forward for 90 feet)

All in all, a little intimidating, but do-able...

I failed

I made it part-way through the front rack lunge and ran out of time. Given more time, I don't know that I could have completed it because I was completely spent and exhausted. What's worse, I spent the last 10 Shoulder to Overheads and my lunges fighting through tears. This morning I woke up and realized how I had set myself to fail from the start...

When we started, I looked around and saw how everyone knew what they were doing and knew each other and I didn't completely know what I was doing (I have completed foundations and one week of normal WODs) and my mindset shifted from "I can do this" to "oh crap, I'm gonna be lucky if I finish," "I look like a fool" and other degrading ideas. I have a minor in Psychology, and should know better than to think like this. I set myself to fail from the start (yes, I know I said this already. I repeat it for emphasis). 

But think about this: How often in our walk with God do we set ourselves up to fail from the start? How often do we have something that we are struggling with that we think "I just can't beat this," "I'm going to try and I might succeed now, but how long until I fail again?" When you think like that, you allow room for the possibility of "failure" (in quotes because you only fail when you quit trying!) And guess what, I not only "failed" in CrossFit, I "failed" in my walk with God yesterday too. Sins I have been fighting with for a loooooong time. And guess what, I didn't check my mindset or my thoughts. So I "failed".  Paul says:

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV, emphasis mine (Zondervan, 2002).

Demolish...take captive... when we start doubting the grace and strength and power of God and set ourselves up for failure. This is a fight... a race... and the training all begins in the mind.