#TBT

Throwback Thursday.... I really used to find it tacky and a rather odd trend. Really? Throwback Thursday? Like Taco Tuesday (except Taco Tuesday is awesome!) So, here's my ThrowBack Thursday. Sure some of you have seen these on Facebook, but humor me... The first picture is me at my college graduation. The second is about 6-7 months after starting to get fit and 8 weeks after starting CrossFit. It also happened to be at the end of a PaleoChallenge. Picture 3 is me six weeks ago.

Graduation May 2012 

8 weeks after starting CrossFit

14.1--February 28, 2014

 I went from 184#, size 16 and couldn't run a mile, to 149#, size 8/10 and I have run an 11k, have a one rep max snatch of 75# and a clean and jerk of 100# and can deadlift 205#. It's been a long hard journey and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

So what brings it up? Why am I participating in Throwback Thursday? This song right here:

In case you don't want to take the 4:30 to watch it, here's the lyrics:

I used to wish that I could rewrite history
I used to dream that each mistake could be erased
Then I could just pretend
I never knew me back then

I used to pray that You would take this shame away
Hide all the evidence of who I've been
But it's the memory of
The place You brought me from
That keeps me on my knees
And even though I'm free

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar

I have not lived a life that boasts of anything
I don't take pride in what I bring
But I'll build an altar with
The rubble that You've found me in
And every stone will sing
Of what You can redeem

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar

Don't let me forget
Everything You've done for me
Don't let me forget
The beauty in the suffering

Heal the wound but leave the scar
A reminder of how merciful You are
I am broken, torn apart
Take the pieces of this heart
And heal the wound but leave the scar

I don't know about you, but sometimes I really wish there were things in my past that didn't exist. I wish there were things I didn't struggle with. But I did. And the fact is, I would not be who I am today. We are all broken. We all have things we struggle with, ways we were hurt... some of us have had some truly awful experiences and have ask God "Why?" And all we want to do is stuff it inside of us and pretend like it didn't happen. What happens to a wound if you don't treat it? If you just ignore it? Especially a puncture wound that goes deep? It gets infected and can affect the whole body. Why do we think that emotional, spiritual, or mental wounds are any different? We have to allow our wounds and our infections to be opened up and treated with God's love-- Grace + Truth + Time (In community) = Healing. Why Throwback Thursday? Because I never want to repeat history, but history allows me to fully realize the grace of God and become thankful for how far He has brought me. Because I wouldn't be here and who I am if it wasn't for Him. Weight and overeating were a challenge and a struggle for me, but they are just the easiest examples to use. We need the scars as our testament to the amazing Grace of God.